BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUPfeatured

It’s super late and I should be in bed. But I’m not. I’m wide awake and my head is spinning. In fact, I haven’t slept much all week. I’ve been thinking a lot about resolutions lately. I didn’t really make any this year. Which is odd. Super odd. I actually tend to geek out over resolutions and goals in general. Like shut myself off for a few days to gain clarity and laser focus kind of geeking. I’ve always really loved it.

Truthfully, I’m feeling a bit lost lately. Not in a bad way, more like my life is shifting and it feels all new. Maybe it’s because I’m turning 40 in March. I don’t know.  I usually have a clear idea of what I want and where I am going, but for the first time in years, I genuinely don’t know anymore. And I’m surprisingly okay with that. Which feels nice. I’ve never understood till now how ambiguity and peace could coexist internally, at least for me. But it can. I feel like I am literally standing between two versions of myself. The version of me filled with everything I thought I always wanted. That sure knowledge of what I wanted my life to be and how I wanted it to turn out. I’ve held to this vision for years. But I don’t know if I want or need those same things anymore. I think the other version of myself that is starting to emerge is okay letting go and letting life unfold more organically, less controlled and trusting my internal compass to lead me in the right direction. Worrying less about if my life is checking off the necessary boxes and instead, embracing what is in my path at the moment. Which feels really good and freeing. And completely ambiguous and calming at the same time.

Over the holidays I had lunch with my 91 year old Grandma and I was asking for her thoughts on life. Her advice? Have lots of adventures, don’t be a prude and don’t wind up in jail. Seems pretty solid and classic Grandma. But she’s right; I want a life of beautiful adventures filled with people I love. No boxes to check off. No preconceived idea of what my life should look like, but instead a life filled experiences that will soften my heart, cause me to grow, fill me with wonder, change my perspective, and ultimately enrich my life and bring me joy in the journey. And I’ll also do my best to not be a prude and to avoid jail.

So what in the world does this have to do with Butternut Squash soup? Not much really. Other than when I’m feeling like I’m having growing pains and need a giant hug and a little emotional support, all I want to warm my inside is soup. And Butternut Squash soup does the trick. Thanks for indulging my inner monologue (I promise to keep it light and ridiculous next time) and for 2016 I wish everyone experiences that will ultimately bring you tremendous joy and keep you out of jail.

Recipe: Butternut Squash Soup  |  Soundtrack: Emily Hearn

• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 4 tbsp butter
• 6 cups of butternut squash, peeled and cubed
• 32-48 oz chicken broth (if you use more than 6 cups of squash, use more broth)
• 1/2 tsp marjoram
• 1/2 tsp ground black pepper
• 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (use more if you like spice)
• 8 oz cream cheese
• 1 cup fat free half & half (you can use regular half & half, it just makes the soup extra rich)
• TO GARNISH (Optional)
• Fresh rosemary
• Creme fraiche
• Pomegranate seeds
• Parmesan cheese

Directions:
Saute′ onion with garlic and butter. You can use a little extra butter if you want a richer taste.

In a large pot, bring to boil squash, chicken broth, marjoram, black pepper and cayenne pepper. Cook for 20 minutes or until tender.

Add onions to the squash mix. Puree in a blender adding cream cheese and cream until smooth. You will probably have to do this in batches if your blender isn’t big enough for all of it. If so, just add a little half & half and cream cheese to each batch. It will all even out in the end so don’t worry too much if you don’t add it evenly.

Return the blended soup to the pot and heat through. Do not allow soup to boil again.

Garnish with any/all of the following: Fresh rosemary, pomegranate seeds, creme fraiche

Store covered in your refrigerator.

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